


Yamato Maya: Lesbian Disaster Extraordinaire

by remipachu



Series: KaoMaya Bandori Rarepair Week [6]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Chisato just wants Kaoru to get it together already, Comedy, F/F, Kaoru is not as smooth as she wants to be, Maya is a disaster gay, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remipachu/pseuds/remipachu
Summary: When the most gorgeous woman Maya has ever seen walks into her work, Maya might just lose it. Hilarity Ensues(TM)
Relationships: Seta Kaoru/Yamato Maya
Series: KaoMaya Bandori Rarepair Week [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771021
Kudos: 24
Collections: Bandori Rarepair Week (2019-present)





	Yamato Maya: Lesbian Disaster Extraordinaire

**Author's Note:**

> cw: mention of an injury at the end, very minor and not described though

It was a slow, slow day at Galaxy Coffee. Perhaps because it was right at the beginning of a break, and practically nobody but university students came to this cafe. Maybe it was a holiday and Maya just didn’t know it. Hell, it could be that people just collectively got tired of coffee (not that Maya thought that could ever be possible). Whatever the cause, it felt like they’d had half a customer all day, and that half had been Aoba Moca, who came in every day no matter what for her bread and coffee.

In other words, Maya was both startled out of her mind and ecstatic when that chime of a customer entering the store rang out. She rushed to the register to call out her greeting.

“Welcome to Galaxy Coffee…!” Her call was cut short as she looked at the customer.

Holy shit was she gorgeous. Her purple hair, perfectly tied in a ponytail, her gorgeous red eyes, how TALL she was… Maya thought she was going to faint. This mystery woman was absolutely the most beautiful person Maya had ever seen, no exaggeration. 

“H-hello!” Maya greeted again when the woman came up to the register. “What can I get you for-- er, I mean, get for you, today? Huhehe…” Maya’s nervous giggle came out unwillingly as she stumbled over helping this customer.

“My my, little kitten…” Holy hell her voice was like silk to Maya’s ears. “Are you feeling okay? It would be a shame for someone as cute as you to be unwell. Shall I call for assistance?” Oh my god, was this stunningly attractive woman flirting with her? It was all Maya had in her to even process the words that had just come out of the customer’s mouth and respond.

“Uh! N-no! Huhehe!” she finally sputtered out, “You’re fine! I mean, I’m fine! I mean…” She sighed. “I’m sorry, um, what can I get started for you today?” The woman smiled. Her smile. It was the most beautiful thing Maya had ever seen. She knew she had thought the same thing about this customer a thousand times already, but seriously. It was angelic.

“If I could have the pleasure of a vanilla latte, little kitten?” she requested, “Hopefully made personally for me by you.” Maya’s face must have been as red as the ripest tomato right now. Slowly, she punched the order into the register and pulled out a to-go cup.

“Um, could I have a name for your order…?” Maya asked, Sharpie in hand.

“My name is Kaoru,” Kaoru answered, “But you can call me tonight.” As she said that, she winked, and then handed over her punch card. Which had her phone number on it. Maya froze mid-kana. Was Kaoru genuinely flirting with her, or did she want another stamp on her punch card?

“Um,” Maya started, “D-do you want me to stamp your punch card? Or were you, um… F-flirting… With me…” The last part of her sentence was practically inaudible as Maya burned in embarrassment.

“Eh--ahaha,” Kaoru laughed, somewhat awkwardly, “It is but that.” And then she handed over 5 100-yen bills and promptly walked away to a table.

\--

“Chi-chan please help me.” Kaoru whispered into her phone.

“What could you possibly need help with right now?” came Chisato’s grumbling voice over the phone. “I’m on vacation.”

“I just made a complete fool of myself in front of the cute girl I was telling you about,” Kaoru groaned.

“The one from your class?” Chisato asked.

“Yes, her,” Kaoru answered, “She’s a barista at a local cafe. And I am an utter nimrod.”

“Oh, come on,” Chisato said, “It can’t have been that bad.”

“I said ‘My name is Kaoru, but you can call me tonight.’” Her voice took on a mocking tone as she imitated herself. “And then I handed her my punch card, thinking myself the epitome of smooth.” There was a pause, and then Chisato roared in laughter.

“Oh my god, Kao-chan!” she laughed, “You are absolutely hopeless.”

“I shall fake my death and join the circus.” Kaoru whined, “Seta Kaoru is no more.”

“Get over yourself, it’s not that big of a deal.” Chisato chastised, “How did she react, anyway?”

“I am not sure,” Kaoru responded, “She was unable to talk very well, and her face was very red. I fear that she may not have been feeling well. Perhaps a brain fever. Ah, how fleeting…”

“...”

“Chi-chan?” Kaoru asked at Chisato’s silence.

“You’re a bigger idiot than I thought.” she finally said, “She’s obviously smitten with you, and I’m not being sarcastic this time. When she finishes making your coffee, give it a second go. Maybe try giving her your number not like some creep at a bar this time?” As if Chisato had summoned it, the cute barista -- Yamato-san, her name tag had said -- called out through the restaurant.

“V-vanilla latte for Kaoru-san!” Oh goodness, the way her voice squeaked at the end there was adorable. And having her finally say Kaoru’s name was like music to her ears. Kaoru must have sighed dreamily into the phone, because Chisato let out a slightly exasperated huff.

“Sounds like that’s your cue, Kao-chan,” she said, startling Kaoru out of her reverie, “Go get her. And let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Thanks, Chi-chan,” Kaoru replied before hanging up.

\--

Oh god, she was coming this way. Maya braced herself and tried to stop any stupid sentences from coming out of her mouth. Unfortunately, Maya’s dumb lesbian brain was a train without brakes, and it had long since blown through the intersection of “smart thoughts” and “talking like a normal person”, leaving no survivors.

“K-Kaoru-san!” Maya sputtered, “Coffee! Here it is!” Actively avoiding eye contact with the perfectly sculpted goddess who stood before her, Maya gestured to the vanilla latte. She had attempted to do cute latte art and try and make a bunch of hearts, but her head full of Gay Thoughts and Nothing Else made it impossible to work her hands properly and it looked more like a bunch of sad squiggles. An awkward grin spread itself across Maya’s face as she giggled shyly.

“My, dear kitten…” Kaoru started, “This looks delectable. And the designs within, so abstract, yet I sense your feelings perfectly…”

“Y-you do?!” Maya squeaked. Oh fuck, was she that obvious? Now this gorgeous woman was probably going to think she was a complete weirdo and never come here again. Nice going Maya, you useless lesbian, scaring away the one woman who (maybe) flirted with you.

“Indeed.” Kaoru stated with a simplicity that baffled Maya.

“I-I-I’m so sorry!” Maya apologized with a bow, then another, then probably five more until she hit her head on the counter from trying to bow too low. “Oww…” Kaoru flinched and instinctively reached her hand towards Maya’s head before pulling it back.

“Yamato-san?” she asked trepidatiously, “Are you in need of assistance…? And why do you apologize so? I simply believed you to desire further communication with me, of which I was happy to oblige.”

“Wha…?” Maya asked, head spinning, though she wasn’t sure if it was from Gay Thoughts or the fact that she’d smacked her head into the counter. “I mean, um, what? You, that’s, oh god my head hurts. I mean, yes?”

“...” Kaoru didn’t quite know which question of hers Maya had answered with that “yes”. “Er, I shall just… Call for your manager to get you assistance? And give you my phone number, so that you may contact me?” Kaoru pulled out a pen and pad of paper from her bag, where she quickly scribbled her phone number, and left it by Maya, who was just groaning in pain by that point.

Before Maya knew it, she was back home (who had helped her home, she couldn’t quite remember, but it was probably her manager Marina). She reached into her pocket to grab her phone, but felt an odd sensation of a piece of paper. What the hell? Pulling out, it said “Seta Kaoru ♡ XXX-XXX-XXXX”. Kaoru… Oh my god, did she really get the hot customer’s number??

Maya may have gotten sent home from work early with a concussion, but she certainly saw today as a win.

**Author's Note:**

> This was so fun to write, I hope it was as fun to read.


End file.
